Light in the Midst of Their Darkness
by Ace-Of-Spades-2014
Summary: Coda 8.05 "Blood Brother". The conversation Dean and Benny had in the car on their way to kill Benny's maker, talking about the people that came into their lives while they were in their darkest moment and became the light that saved them from themselves.


I do not own Supernatural

Dean drove with his white knuckles over the leather steering wheel in the midst of an inner war. A part of him knew he shouldn't be driving Benny to where ever he thought he needed to be. It was one thing to be allies with a vampire in Purgatory. The vampire was one of the reasons he managed to stay alive, and he was a main reason he had gotten topside. They were back now, and Dean was hunting again. To be friends with a vampire wasn't natural, and it certainly wasn't his style. Dean had already done his part in bringing Benny back along with him, had even saved him from dying; he no longer had a reason to stay and watch over the blood drinker.

However, he couldn't bring himself to abandon the southern, gentle man. It didn't matter that a hunter and vampire was just an odd pair, or that Sam would give him hell when he found out (and who was he kinding, Sam would certainly find out). What mattered was that Benny, more than anyone in the past, maybe save Cas, had forced his way into Dean's life and settled himself into the hunter's sphere of 'family'. They had become brothers in their journey to get back to the land of the living, and Dean wasn't one to leave a brother behind.

Listening to Benny's tale of how he had turned into a vampire, who had turned him, and what his life as a vampire had been like. It was an interesting distraction from his own thoughts, but it wasn't enough. He'd already made the joke about vampirates (which Benny gave an amused, humoring grin to), but he still needed more to distract himself from the splash of gray that had only further destroyed his world of black and white.

Then the conversation did change, and while it didn't alleviate Dean's struggle, it was a story that the hunter could relate to enough to concentrate on that instead of himself.

"Andrea," Benny voiced in a remembrance of adoration. His pain and love was clear in his southern drawl. "She was my light," he tried to explain. "Ah met her while ah was a vampire, still high on the taste of blood and the spirit of the sea. She saw meh in mah darkest moment, witnessed the brutality ah was capable of, and still wanted to stay by my side. She was the light that led meh out of that darkness."

And didn't that sound familiar?

"She was the reason ah tried to change meh ways, even before ah got to Purgatory," Benny sighed. "The Master got angry by that, though, and he punished meh for mah sudden change of 'heart'. Killed Andrea right in front of meh only seconds before killing meh." The tears were caught in his throat, but none of those tears threatened to fall from his eyes. "Her death was the last thang ah saw before getting into that hell hole."

Ignore the fact that Benny didn't necessarily believe Purgatory was a hell hole. He, like Dean, did find the purity of the scene. It was a black and white world that Benny could survive in, and survive well. Thing was, after meeting Andrea, falling in love, becoming more of a man than a vampire for her sake, Purgatory couldn't hold the promises it might have otherwise held before her. Dean had seen that upon accepting the vampire's help, that Benny's humanity had started to overpower his monster side, and that it was a raging war between the two. It was a feeling that Dean was all too familiar with.

"I get you man," Dean voiced, finding a need to fill the silence that had begun to invade the impala. "I understand."

"Ah know you do brotha," Benny gave a sideways smirk. Another similarity the vampire shared with the hunter was the ability to move from being serious to a distracting smile or joke. Had to keep the atmosphere light. No chick flick moments. Or at least no chick flick moments that last too long.

Dean stared back out of the corner of his eyes, recognizing the teasing edge. "I mean, I can get why'd you want revenge. Why you would change for someone like that."

Benny raised an eyebrow, knowing there was far more than that to the understanding. "Brotha," he stressed, "ah understand. Ah've always understood ya. It's not like you tried to hide the fact back in Purgatory." Dean tried to object. "Don't know why you're trying to hide it now just because we're top side."  
"Dont' know what you mean."

Benny laughed, and it was a laughter that did Dean's soul good, because it was one that told him he wasn't being judged, but nor was he being let off the hook. "Like hell. Ya tryin' ta tell meh ya didn't trample all over the land of monsters, demanding to know where 'ya angel' was?"  
Dean scoffed, but he didn't argue outright. It wouldn't have done anything anyways. Benny knew him too well. There had been too many fights of saving one another and too many nights of sharing tales for them not to understand one another on a deeper level. As much as Dean wanted to ignore that bond, he couldn't, and he found himself battling with himself if he should just say it outright.

Maybe it would do good to say it outloud, he thought as he continued to drive, still too many miles from their destination. It wasn't like he could just tell Sam. It was too personal, and Dean wasn't sure if he could bring himself to admit a truth he had been trying to hide so long.

Softly, he tried to explain it away. "It ain't like that between me and him."  
A soft chuck in return. "I didn't say it was. Just said you could understand due to your situation with your angel."

It was because it was the fact that it was Benny and no one else, that Dean relented. "He did see me at my darkest. Saw what I had become in Hell," and he had still thought he could be saved. Had come through those barn doors claiming that he deserved to be saved. "I suppose he was my light," as cheesy as that might have sounded. But this was Benny. The one being in the world that could understand what it might to have that source of light come into his life and turn him upside down. "Saved me in more ways in one."

Benny nodded. "And you did the same for him," he tried to comfort. The 'not like me with Andrea' was unsaid, but Dean could hear the pain all the same. "For what it's worth," he tried again when their destination came into view. "I hope your angel finds his way back to. You deserve to have that light in your life."


End file.
